what am I DO-ing?

 As I get ready for this journey to Uganda, I thought I’d fill you in on a little of what I’m up to!

reading:

Finding Calcutta by Mary Poplin was written after the author spent two months in Calcutta serving with Mother Teresa. It is about her time there and also about how she applied what she learned to her life moving forward. It is about finding her own Calcutta and investing love and Christ there, every day, in each person she meets.  It is wonderful!

The Peacemaker by Ken Sande is assigned reading from World Harvest and I

am loving it! It speaks biblical truth to conflict, resolution, and is all about grace and truth and love…really, it’s about Christ and what light the gospel brings to

conflict. And that, my friends, is beautiful.

Lineage of Grace by Francine Rivers is a compilation of the beautiful stories of the five women mentioned in the lineage of Christ.  Rivers paints these women’s lives into reality and speaks truth throughout each of them

eating: all kinds of good American food I can get my hands on : ) Chickfila, Zoe's, Burger Up, good coffee, strawberries and peaches and all kinds of delicious fresh fruit

working: babysitting and spending a few more days as part of the Frothy Monkey family down in Franklin! I am having such fun working at a coffeehouse, something I've wanted to do for quite some time!  So fun to get to be a part of a wonderful company in this season! 

listening:  to lots of country because it just sounds like summer. You feel me on that? Check out Parmalee's song Carolina. So fun. Put your country on and roll the windows down, summertime.  And also a lot of Kari Jobe and Matt Redman who speak truth to my heart through song.  Got them on repeat.

learning: I am going through Sonship with World Harvest and I am learning about how I am such a big sinner and Christ’s work on my behalf is SO amazing, full of so much grace and love….I am learning this freshly and much more deeply.  As John Newton said, “Although my memory’s fading, I remember two things very clearly: I am a great sinner and Christ is a great Savior.”  Just learning that. Over and over. And over again. Thankful for the cross and for grace.

praying: that the Lord will use these next 6 weeks to prepare my heart and soul well. That I will have time to spend with those I love in these last few weeks.  That all my packing and to-do’s will get done and not make me {or those around me} too crazy : )

traveling: to the lake to hang with some of my team while we're in the States...then Canada for pre-field training...Philly for my deployment meeting...Florida for Crane family vacation...then.....UGANDA!

watching: I’ve gotten hooked on Call the Midwife thanks to my mom.  It’s a beautiful narrative of so many lives, of birth and death and all that’s in between. It’s about life and people and full of good stories…good stuff.

enjoying: time with my family and friends at the lake and time with friends and family in Nashville as much as I can...

sweet friends here for Summit IX

Lion King with Mom and Emily (thanks daddy!)

Austin's graduation party

anticipating: the big move to Bundibugyo, my new community that comes with it, my stop in Jinja on the way, and my first trip to Canada!  SO much to anticipate!  Adventures ahead.

Thanks for being a part of this journey with me!  I am working on getting into this blogging business on a regular basis!  Let me know what questions you may have or what you’d like me to write about : )

I'm Going Back!

The rumors are true...I’m returning to Uganda!  I know many of you may know this already, for those who haven’t, here’s a little bit of an update! More regular blogging to commence again...now....

I have felt the Lord leading my heart to Uganda for years, and spending 2011 there really confirmed my love for the people of Uganda and the Lord’s work there.  Alongside my love for that place, the Lord has exploded my awareness and love for orphans and vulnerable children. He has done so through my dear friends at 147 Million Orphans, through my time spent at 3 different orphanages in Uganda, and through watching many dear friends bring children home to their forever families and care for vulnerable children worldwide.  What a joy and privilege to be a part of and witness so much of God’s heart for the orphan, the Father to the fatherless, shown through the hands and feet and lives being given away around me! It is a delight!

Through all of this, I have found that the marriage of Uganda and caring for orphans and vulnerable children absolutely LIGHTS. MY. HEART. UP. 

From here, with my feet planted in the US, a large chunk of my heart and time have been spent advocating for that place and these ones I love. And my prayers have been that the Lord would show me if He would have me continue to care from here, or do so in-country, day to day, life on life.  The answer? It’s time to go and hop in, life-on-life. To be the hands and feet of Christ. To be stretched and grown and challenged in new ways, in a new place, for the glory of God and the delight of my heart!

I’ll be joining World Harvest Mission’s team in Bundibugyo, Uganda for a two-year commitment as an apprentice and the program assistant for their Orphaned and Vulnerable Children (OVC) Scholarship Program at Christ School Bundibugyo.  As an apprentice, I am stepping out to say I believe the Lord is calling me to serve missionally and cross-culturally long-term and I want to learn to do this well from people who have gone before me and be grown in my love for the gospel and the Kingdom.  With the OVC Program, I will be a part of overseeing and engaging the spiritual and academic growth of the students in the program as well as leading the communications from Uganda to the US about the program.  

So basically, I get to love on orphans and vulnerable children every day, advocate on their behalf with my feet and life planted in Uganda, and learn what missions long term looks like from some wiser folks than me.....WIN!

I will be supervised by Michael Stevens, who also works at the school, and mentored by Ann Kieser, a fellow teammate.  I will join a team led by my old babysitter and her husband, Travis and Amy {Lang} Johnson.  I will be on a team alongside many others laying down their lives for the Kingdom in the areas of water, medicine, nutrition, education, discipleship, and more...all with the hopes of making disciples and glorifying God.  I am thrilled, honored, humbled, and full of anticiaption as I journey toward Bundibugyo. 

 
I would love to invite you to be a part of my journey back! I need both financial support as well as prayer, and I welcome it all! My goal date to leave is May 2013...soon!  If you would like more information on how you can join my support team, please email me at sarahkcrane {at} gmail {dot} com. I'd be happy to mail/email you info, just let me know!  You’re also welcome to go straight to my page on WHM’s website here: http://www.whm.org/give/missionary?ID=51033

For some creative support, you can check out the beautiful printables my friend Mandie Joy made {she has made some of my favorite verses and quotes into beautiful things for your home and heart!} and the hair ties I’ve been selling.

I am excited to tell you more about this place, the reasons I am going back, and my journey of support raising and all in the coming weeks and months. For now, I wanted to just get the news out and shout it: 

Uganda here I come!!!! Woohooo!!!!!!

When my heart is breaking...

We're coming to the end of rainy season here in Uganda (for now). It's a season I've come to love. It brings with it so much...days stuck inside, red dirt turned to mud all over everything, stir crazy kids and aunties from too much time inside, a slow down on an already slow pace of life, and many candlelit nights due to power being out. It brings creativity to keep children entertained and snuggles to calm fearful littles.

It also brings rest from work--because when it rains here you just cannot do much of anything--and it brings a deep cleansing...the rain washes the streets clean as it trickles down in streams away from town and it washes away the stench of rotting trash and fish drying in the sun, amongst other scents. It cleans the layers of dirt off the bodas and the cars and everything.

The rain also brings with it this beautiful refreshing newness. A newness that only comes after the rain. After the covering in mud and the fearful stormy times, after the darkness of no power and the craziness of being stuck inside for days on end. After the long days and nights of rain and more rain, the clouds clear and this newness of life is seen. The fields are greener. The streets are a bit cleaner. The remains of mud linger, reminding you of the rain that has just passed. But the air is clearer and the weather has cooled some. It's a bit quieter as everyone comes out of the places they've found refuge to find the sun shining again, beckoning them to life. After the storms have passed, life begins again. Life that has taken shelter in the storms ventures slowly back into the sunshine.

As the rainy season pounded here, I walked through one of the hardest, stormiest seasons I have ever been in. As the storms raged outside, the storms pounded hard in my life here. At Ekisa, we lost Shamim who I wrote about most recently.

Then a few weeks later little Ajuma, who I have been fighting on behalf of along with my friends Kelsey and Megan, went home to be with Jesus. Little man who had dialysis for months in the hospital in Kampala. Whose blood got flown to South Africa. Who rarely smiled when I was around but loved smiling with his mom and dad. This little boy who I truly believed would be getting a transplant once God made clear the path for that. He got to spend a few months healthy, at home and loving his family, before our Jesus called him home. I don't really understand it. This broke my heart and continues to weigh heavy. But in some ways it allows me to breathe a little easier and to rejoice...Ajuma is no longer in pain and he is home, Home where I long to be and I cannot believe he beat me there. I believe he is beaming around the throne room. My God, He gives and takes away. Blessed be His name.

One week after Ajuma went home, another little girl from Ekisa was called home. Selina had been sick for a few months, but we kept praying for healing. Jesus decided on the ultimate healing and brought her home. We miss our Lena Lou dearly. Her smiles, her dancing, and her silly car riding. Emily wrote beautifully about her here. We had a beautiful memorial service for her and Shamim at Ekisa a few weeks ago. He gives and takes away. Blessed be His name.

The day Selina went home found Namusisi at the hospital preparing for her baby to come. We had a few scares the week leading up to this, but this was the real deal. And so as Emily and Emily went to mourn with our Ekisa family, Jessica and I were ssked to hold down the fort with Nam. As we are mourning together at the hospital and waiting for labor to begin in earnest, we were informed Nam needed and emergency C section. If she didn't have it, both her baby and she herself were in danger. And so through tears and pain, we prepared and prayed over Nam and she headed to the operating room. A little over an hour later, precious baby Grace came out of the OR, and shortly after his dear Mama came too! Her baby is incredibly healthy and Nam is on the road to recovery from her C section. {Please pray as she is still fighting some infection from the operation}.

Only a few hours after Selina went home, Grace was born to life here. Friday September 30th was a day I got a front seat to see heaven touch earth...God bringing one life home and gracing us here with a new beautiful life. The newness He brings after the storms. He gives and takes away. Blessed be His name.

Less than one week after Ajuma went home, I became foster mom to little baby KL. He came to our home so sick. My roommates worried that he might not make it through the night and that if he didn't my heart couldn't bear it. God had other plans, and not only did he make it through the night but through the next three weeks. He is getting healthier each and every day. He came to us with a feeding tube and a canula to get medicines three times a day. Now he feeds from a bottle like a champ and he only gets meds when he needs them. He is interacting more and getting quite a little personality. He is sleeping through {some} of the night and snuggling lots. He is part of the newness God is working in me after this stormy season.

The month of September wore me out, body and soul. It was a month of holding onto that anchor within the veil and begging Him to remain strong as everything around me seemed to fall apart. It was a season of clinging to His truth as the rains battered.

October has been a month of newness and recovery. He's bringing me into a place of sunshine and newness, of regeneration and blessings. He's got me hidden under His wing and recovering. Just leaning on His name and pressing into Him. He's bringing sweet gifts of encouragement and newness. He is turning my heart towards His in a posture of thanksgiving. Be looking soon for a "capture gratitude" post inspired by a dear friend. He is restoring me and teaching me. He is good, in the storms and after they have cleared. He has brought dear roommates and friends to walk alongside me in all of this. And He's brought His word to my heart over and over. He is giving me eyes to see His gifts even in the storms and after them.

He gives and He takes away. My heart, and my life, will choose to say BLESSED BE HIS NAME.



These songs have spoken deep truth to my heart in this season...I pray they will encourage your heart too:

"When my world is shaking, heaven stands. When my heart is breaking, I never leave Your hands...one day You will set all things right"

{sorry for the cheesy video...just listen to the words}

Out of these ashes beauty will rise, for I know a God who is holding this crazy world in His hands, and He is not surprised by any of it.

God of Our Healing

Ok, so clearly it has been awhile since I've blogged. It's not that I haven't wanted to, I just have struggled with finding the time. And the words.


With a quick 4 weeks spent in Kampala serving at Baby Watoto {which I LOVED} shortly after my family was here, followed by my move back to Jinja and quite possibly the busiest and most intense four weeks I have experienced since being here, time to blog has been a bit limited. But here I am, back again, with an update on the last little bit of life.

The main ways I have spent my last month has been loving on sick kids...the illnesses vary, the intensity and prognoses may be different, but the heart and reality are the same: God has put some beautiful, sweet littles in my life here who are battling with some yucky stuff and He has asked me to help be a part of their healing.

For a few nights, this meant staying up with AR and E, some of the cutest little babies who I get the sweet opportunity of sharing a home with. They both caught some sort of weird bug which led to long nights of many diapers and IVs being run to rehydrate and throw up being cleaned up. All of us took shifts with them to make sure all was well throughout the night. We had some long nights, but it was fun to stay up and get to know my new roommates in the silly bonding late night hours can bring.  And man, aren't these smiles worth it?

photo courtesy of Mandie Joy

Then there's this little boy named Ajuma. He is the most serious child I have ever met. I have NEVER been able to get him to smile. Part of that might be due to his personality, but I think a lot of it is due to his circumstances. You see, Ajuma's kidneys are failing. And due to this, he has had to spend more time in hospitals than any 9 year old should ever have to. His family got connected with my friend Kelsey through the Malaria Treatment Fund, which I wrote about a while back. When Kelsey returned to the US for school, she asked me to take over Ajuma's case. So here we are.

After his malaria was treated, it was clear from the swelling in his body that something much more serious was going on. After a number of tests here and in Kampala (the capital city), it became clear that he had acute chronic renal failure...ie, his kidneys are failing. He went into pretty urgent dialysis at the national hospital...the only place to get dialysis in this entire country. He finished one round of dialysis, spending three months at the hospital, and is now back and forth between check ups and home (home is an island 7+ hours from the capital, 5+hours from me). He is waiting on a transplant, possibly from his dad. But problem is, it isn't possible to get a transplant in Uganda. And it isn't possible to even get properly cross checked to confirm if a donor and recipient are good matches for a kidney donation. So I have had the challenge of navigating the system of hospitals and testing here and have (with the help of dear friends) successfully gotten 4 different types of testing done to cross-check and cross-type and fly blood to South Africa so that we can confirm if this precious father who is willing to give one of his kidneys to his sweet son is going to work. And now we wait. And I try not to worry about how the transplant will be paid for. Or where it will happen. Or how we will get them there. Or if Ajuma will make it. I bring it back to Him and lay it at the cross. "Cast all your cares on me, for I care for you, I care for you"

This last week God handed to me part of the responsibility for this sweet baby Shamim who is part of Ekisa. She is a unique part, not an orphan, having a mom who loves her dearly and is living at Ekisa with her. And who is fighting for her baby girl. Oh does this mama bear, Mama Shamim, fight in her strong, quiet, persistent way. And she works...she serves Ekisa beautifully and loves her sick baby girl with joy. Shamim is fighting TB and HIV, along with this nasty ear infection that has caused brain damage. She was doing pretty well until this last weekend, when her ear infection rared up and she fought a new infection, one so common here: malaria. With Emily W home in America and Emily H in Kenya with one of our Ekisa kiddos on an emergency surgery, looking after Shamim (and the rest of Ekisa) became my responsibility for a few days. What a huge thing to be entrusted with! And to feel like I know enough to keep things going...or at least not falling apart : )

But when t came to Shamim, I had NO idea what to do. At the ENT's urging on Saturday, we sent her quickly to Kampala for him to examine. This led to an emergency surgery to drain her infected ear. And then more high fevers for her. And then desperately needing a blood transfusion with no blood to be found. And many calls back and forth to nurses and doctors as I tried to figure out what was going on and what we needed to do. Our rockstar Ekisa volunteer Jessica took a trip to Kampala Monday help figure it out while I held down the fort with our 15 kids and our 8 month pregnant teenager at Ekisa. And then that night I left for Kampala with my phenomenal friend and roommate Mandie because the blood this little girl had needed all day long and that they had continually assured me was coming still had not come. As we pulled into Kampala at almost 1 AM, I got a call confirming that they had finally run her first part of her transfusion. We went to check on little Shamim and to see the second unit of blood get started. And then we turned around and headed back to Jinja after our late night jaunt to capital city. Three days late, Shamim is still fighting. God has provided the blood and provided some amazing doctors here to care for her. We're not sure where this is going to go. Her little 21 month old undernourished body might not be able to handle much more.

But we know the Jehovah Rapha, and so I am believing Him for healing...whether it looks like healing on this side of Heaven or wholeness with Him forerver. And I know my God has bigger plans than I can ever imagine or even seek. And so I walk in trust. In the midst of circumstances that often threaten to overwhelm, I reach out my shaking hand to grasp tight to His. My only sure foundation. The only One who knows the beggining and the end and everything in between. The One who whispers truth when my ears are filled with lies telling me to give up and stop helping. The One who holds AR and E and Ajuma and Shamim in His hands and who loves them more deeply than I can ever imagine. And the one who holds me.

He is the One leading this. He has called me to follow Him into the hard places, to help be a restorer of broken places and people and an extenson of His love and healing. And so I respond in the only way I can, with all of me, ventured wholly on all of Him. And I know He is working it all together for good. And so I choose trust. I choose it today, for this moment, and I pray He helps me choose it tomorrow again, as I awaken and in each moment. I want to choose to abide in His presence, and to walk in it each day. And so I run to the hard places as much as i shrink back these places lead me into the throne room face down so much more often throughout the day than on the days where most is well. And so these days, I live in the hard places. And I cry out for Him in it. And He is good and faithful to answer and to not only enter into my miry pit, but to pull me out with Him, leading me to glory. I live on my knees in this place....





update: I wrote this last night as I continued on my knees for sweet Shamim. This morning she took her last breath on this earth and went to live in wholeness and peace with our sweet Jesus. She's no longer in pain. She's no longer suffering. Man I wish I could be there for that party! I imagine she's dancing in the throne room this night. We love you Shamim. I can't wait to dance alongside you one day beautiful girl!

beautiful Shamim...

photo courtesy of Mckenzie Baird

I went to Kampala dreading it. I was so excited to finally get to serve with Watoto, this ministry I heard about well over a year ago and have been dreaming of serving with ever since. But I was not excited about Kampala. I live in small town Uganda and from there, Kampala is the big, busy, dirty capital full of traffic jam and accidents and riots and thieves. It's the place where you go for court dates and adoption appointments and only when you need to. Not really a place I wanted to live.


And then I moved there.

While it's still not my favorite city (not by a longshot), I was given a different view of it while there and mainly because of Watoto Church and Childcare Ministries who I got to serve with at the Bulrushes Babies Home. Through Watoto's eyes, I saw a city full of hurting people who need the gospel and need active love. People who don't just to be preached at but need real Love demonstrated...through loving a neighbor, taking in babies with no family or who need serious medical attention which families here struggle to afford, loving on street kids, working to restore dignity to women with HIV, and bottom line being Love clothed in flesh.

I love Watoto's heartbeat desire...to be people who are caring for community while celebrating Christ. Isn't that beautiful? Is that how we are living? Is that how I am living? I want ot more actively do this, to care for community each day while I celebrate Christ....that my celebration of my Savior would inform my care for others in my community, and that my care for others would reflect the way I love and celebrate Him. Maybe that even in my care for others I am actively celebrating Him...celebrating His people and His gifts with intention and joy. Living in a way that does that. So no matter where I am, whether it be Jinja or Kampala or Nashville, that I am celebrating Him there as I love the people around me. And that, folks, is the Truth. Love God, love others. Boom.

What a beautiful lesson He's taught me in a place I didn't want to go. Isn't He always working like that? Taking me to places I don't necessarily want, that I don't really think are best, and teaching me the most beautiful things. Help me remember this Lord, when you next take me to a place I may not have chosen for myself, that my eyes might be open to the beauty and ready for the wonder in the hard places to come.

I know I live in Uganda when...

Ok, so sorry to be a terrible blog updater.  The last 6 weeks have been crazy busy...went to Kenya to see my sis, then she came here, Gwen and Suzanne visited, my computer crashed, my parents and our friends the Hills came, I moved to Kampala, and I'm preparing to move back to Jinja...busy stuff.  But, sorry for slacking here! Prepare to have a number of blogs coming at ya in the next little bit. For the first...some things that let me now I'm for sure living out life here....

I know I live in Uganda when...

1. I sleep under a mosquito net {almost} every night

2. I can get heaps of fresh produce--avocadoes, mangoes, bananas, pineapple, eggplant, peppers, tomatoes, passionfruit, and more--for the equivalent of only a few US dollars

*borrowed this picture, mine got lost when my computer crashed...*

3. These are the ones I wake up to see and love on and be loved by every day....

 4. My vacation time includes these new friends...(look in the background...)

giraffes!

oh hey elephant!

5. Holidays look a bit different...

 

6. Sweet family and friends visit but it's not quite home

6. My dependency on Christ grows each day because there's less here to make me think I've got it "under control" and much more here leading me to run back into His arms moment by moment and live from that place

7. My heart cries out a bit more every day, "How do I respond?" and I ask Jesus to guide my response and my heart. And by His grace I keep dreaming, and hoping, and loving with all I've got. And one foot in front of the other, I follow His lead and I look towards His promise of all things new.

8. As my heart breaks and His hope carries me, I find this smile and this peace ever present. This smile that creeps across my face from a deep place in my heart. This peace that comes from way beyond myself, that settles my racing thoughts and brings them back to Truth. As I sit feeding a bottle or chase littles or change diapers or do whatever it is my day finds my hands busy with, I find my heart at peace and a huge smile on my face and I know that for today, for right now, this is so right and He is enough. Always.

I want to see Jesus

We sat around in a circle on the tile floor and read stories about animals, about shapes, about very hungry caterpillars.  We laughed and we looked at the pictures and we worked on sitting properly and listening well.  The stories about lions and bugs and princesses were always hits, but it never failed that every time we sat down one of the children pointed at or tried to grab one particular book.  They would say “Auntie, I want that one! Auntie Sarah, I want to see Jesus!”  They would grab that book and tell me “This one!”  and ask to see the pictures and hear the stories. 

What book is this magical favorite?  It’s this beautiful book I love, that I hope they are learning to love too.  It is the one that tells me of a Hero who loves the little children and gives himself for them, a Creator who walks daily with his created beloved ones, a man who is God and who poured himself out.  It is the precious Bible.  It is a particularly lovely version of it called The Jesus Storybook Bible.  For me, it was a gift from my sweet friend Leigh.  She is a preschool teacher and must have known how much littles (and their aunties/teachers) love this beautiful book.  It is one of the most beautiful children’s versions of the Bible I have ever seen.  The kids here love it—the pictures, the way it’s written.  And more than that, they love the stories and they ask for them over and over again.  They try to grab it out of my hands because they want to see Jesus.  They can barely sit on their cabenas (bottoms) for the desire to point to Jesus on the page, to show their friends, to see this mysterious majestic One. 

We read stories of creation and the fall, of prophets and princesses, of soldiers and fishes.  They enjoy them all, but they beg for the ones about Jesus.  They want to hear especially how he welcomes the little ones to Him and how He heals the sick and cares for the poor.  They want to see Him on the cover, to hear about Him inside the pages, to ask about Him after the story and all throughout.  And how can I deny them? 

It delights my heart and convicts me—do I long to see my Jesus, to know my Jesus within the pages of His Word as much as these little ones do?  Do I understand simply the beauty and mystery of the love of Jesus for me?  Do I deeply yearn for just a glimpse of Him, for a whisper of His voice?  As much as the children love that book, I want to love it.  We always saved it for last when we read in preschool time, for we wanted to save the best for last…but maybe we should have read that first. And more.  And over and over.

I started reading it to the children at Ekisa last night.  I think it will be our bedtime ritual now.  They gathered around me on the couch and all strained to see the pictures and hear the story.  They pointed to the ocean and the mountains, the lions and the peacocks, the people and the sun and the planets, the creations of our God’s hands.  They looked at them in awe and delight.  They asked for more stories.  I promised them another tonight. And this morning the first thing one of them told me, not even five minutes after waking up, was “Auntie, want story!” 

It is such a precious story.  The song of the Creator, singing to his beloved…the love letter to each of us.  I hope I wake up and think, “Jesus, I want a story!” and that I open these pages full of life and let them sing to me and pour over me and fill my longing heart like these children do.  I want these stories to fill my thoughts during the day and make me ask questions and teach me how to walk this journey of life and faith.  Make my heart like these little ones Lord.  Let it cry out “I want to see Jesus!” and open my eyes to see and hear more and more.