Wednesday, April 27, 2011


What am I doING? Here’s a snippet…

reading: Ender’s Game. The favorite book of my friend Jed Ives, hoping reading it will provide a way to connect with him a bit more, as trying to engage a 14 year old boy is proving to definitely not be a strong suit of mine. Wanting to improve that, and since I’m not into DS or Halo, trying this.  

Radical. Never read this when it first came out, reading alongside (though lagging a bit behind) my community group at home. So far, I enjoyed listening to the sermon series more, just found it went deeper into the topics and Scriptures, but learning from this too and processing it more deeply.

The Pioneer Woman’s blog. Hilarious. Currently in the midst of the Pioneer Woman and Marlboro Man’s love story (Black Heels to Tractor Wheels)…I laugh out loud when I read this. Also enjoying her recipes very much…try this one for coffee muffins (cupcakes), so yummy!

eating: The amazing delicious cooking of Miss Cassidy Gibson, gifted chef who inspires me to want to be a much better cook.  (Along with everyone else in the Gibson family...chefs extraordinare). Cassidy has a food blog in the works and I am pumped! I’m staying with her family this week as I rest and prepare for Watoto and explore more of what might be to come after that. I have probably gained 5 pounds from her yummy food already...Ginger Carrot Soup, Basil Chicken Curry, Molten Lava Cakes...and much more. Did I mention she’s 15? How sweet is that? Rockstar I tell ya.

listening: Mo Leverett. Love this man’s soulful voice and rich lyrics. All time favorite=Onward Christians. Can’t get enough. Also love his song Louisiana. SO good. And loving Beautiful Scandalous Night. Always. Such a beautiful song full of truth. Got stuck in my head this week and I couldn’t be happier. Follow Christ to the holy mountain, sinner, sorry and wrecked by the fall. Cleanse your heart and your soul in the fountain that flows, for you and for me and for all

craving: Chick fil A and Sweet Cece’s…anyone who can figure out a way to get those here I would be eternally grateful to. But the longer I wait for them, the more delicious they will be when I return home.

learning: To know more of Jesus in the day to day, minute by minute…in the faces of children and adults and all. Just to see and know more of Him, all the time.

praying: For preparation for serving with Watoto, for preparation for living in Kampala, for guidance in the next step from Watoto and faith for whatever that is.

traveling: to Kampala soon. And went to Kenya for a day and a half with my friend Emily…so fun, but too short.

watching: old Glee and the Mentalist…a fellow volunteer, Erin, got me hooked on the Mentalist.

enjoying: The fullness of life, the rest and refreshment this week is bringing, an opportunity to just be and take in where I am, and the community the Lord has so amazingly provided here in Jinja.

missing: All of you.

Much love!!!!

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Say a little prayer for me...

Hi friends! Just wanted to send a quick blog update to ask for some prayer over the next couple days.  Today was my last full day at Amani and tomorrow I'll be with the kids until their naptime after lunch (around 1 this time).  My heart is say bye to them is going to be a time full of tears and a heavy heart.  Leaving children who have known abandonment their whole lives in some way, who are in a place where they are healing from that, and then to just be a person bringing that up again...whoa that's tough.  They've also stolen a big piece of my heart...some of them will have pieces of my heart forever....and so I'll be saying goodbye and leaving pieces of myself here. I think maybe this is a tiny taste of what it is for a parent to say goodbye to a child not knowing when they may see them again...cannot imagine how hard that is because this is really tough.  So if I could just ask for you to join me in prayer for protection of these kiddos hearts, for comfort from Jesus for my own heart, and for a focus on our Jesus who is making all things new in the midst of this crazy world with hard goodbyes and broken people trying to figure out how to love Him and love others....the redeeming work of the cross is my only hope and assurance.  I rejoice as I cry, and I am thankful for sweet prayers to Him from us all...they are heard, they are felt, they are a swete aroma. 

Much love.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Just this step in front of me

There is something the Lord keeps calling my heart back to…over the last few weeks, and more so than that, through the last season of my life. Through graduation from university and all of my friends moving all over the country (and world). Through moving home, working as a waitress with a college degree and being asked all the time, sometimes with judgment in the tone, most of the time just with curiosity, “Oh, didn’t you graduate? And you’re waitressing….?” Through wondering myself sometimes, “What am I doing? Is this really the Lord’s calling or is this my making up what I am “called” to? Am I being crazy? Maybe this is good crazy?” Through praying through coming here, seeking wisdom on where to go and when, and support raising. Through living life in Nashville and loving the community He brought...and then through having to say "See you later" to that community.  Through being here and all that has entailed. His call continues…
Through the last year, and more loudly the past month, He keeps calling me.  He's calling me to faith.  He keeps whispering to my soul, Come, follow me.

To trust what I cannot see, to leave behind my fears and questioning and simply take the next step in faith. Even when it’s hard, even when it may not make total sense or be fully funded or be perfectly planned out, or whatever makes sense in the world’s eyes. To take that step. To trust what I do know in the face of much unknown. Come, follow me. To walk forward with Him, to follow the path laid before me by my Jesus, even when all I see is the very next step. To keep my eyes on Him, not on the mountains ahead or the things I fear may be in the way or may come, but to follow my Jesus. To follow Him through the hard things and the beautiful things. To choose faith, over and over. To choose it for my life, but more than anything, to choose it day by day, moment by moment. I can’t get through my days and know more of Him and glorify Him when I choose myself, when I choose to focus on frustration or things I don’t understand. I can only get through and point to Him as I live when I choose to focus on Him and to trust His ways…to trust His leading, to trust His timing, to trust His goodness, to trust His promises He gives me in the Word. Come follow me. To choose faith. And to find delight as I choose faith, because with that choice comes freedom and indescribable joy. Because when I choose faith, I choose Jesus, and I leave myself behind. I am less, He is more. Come, follow me.

He has been calling me to this in so many ways recently. Through the circumstances around me which can sometimes be overwhelming. Through Jesus Calling devotional. Through the Word, specifically Hebrews 11. Holding onto this and sitting in it right now. Through the messages at the church I go to here. Through this amazing message from John Piper. Through the ways support continues to come in. Through the days He carries me. And more than anything, through this beautiful song my dear friend Sarah McCary wrote. It’s called Faith. She recorded it just for me to carry with me over here, along with a few other amazing songs. The first time I heard it was in her kitchen during one of our weekly breakfast dates. It made me cry, for it was so my heart at that time. In recent weeks, it has brought me such comfort and spoken such truth to my soul. It’s not available for all of you to hear (yet), but maybe the lyrics will speak to some hearts like they have to mine. I really could just have posted these lyrics and nothing else and you’d hear my heart as of recent…
Near-sighted; hoping for a glimpse of where I’m going
But I’ve decided that I will follow You without knowing
Cause I believe Your promises are true
That my inheritance is found in You
So I will leave behind all the places I have been
And I will follow You even when…

I can’t see the ending, just this step in front of me
That You are calling me to take
Your will for here and now is clear
To step out of my doubt and fear
To hear Your voice and to obey

Moving forward; finally okay that I can’t see too far ahead
Cause what I’m moving towards is not a place,
No, it’s knowing more of who You are instead
And seeing that Your promises are true,
Finding my inheritance in You
So I will leave behind all the idols I have held
And let the living God reveal Himself…

I can’t see the ending, just this step in front of me
That You are calling me to take
Your will for here and now is clear
To step out of my doubt and fear
To hear Your voice and to obey

And my faith will have its failures
But Your promises remain
So all these questions without answers fade away as You guide me with Your grace

I can’t see the ending, just this step in front of me
That You are calling me to take
Your will for here and now is clear
To step out of my doubt and fear
To hear Your voice and to obey
You are calling me to faith

He is calling me to come and follow. To choose faith. A faith like Abraham’s, to follow even without knowing where I am going. To follow His promises. And so, I choose to listen for His voice, and to choose to take the next step in front of me as it becomes clear.

My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. John 10:27