Saturday, April 9, 2011

Just this step in front of me

There is something the Lord keeps calling my heart back to…over the last few weeks, and more so than that, through the last season of my life. Through graduation from university and all of my friends moving all over the country (and world). Through moving home, working as a waitress with a college degree and being asked all the time, sometimes with judgment in the tone, most of the time just with curiosity, “Oh, didn’t you graduate? And you’re waitressing….?” Through wondering myself sometimes, “What am I doing? Is this really the Lord’s calling or is this my making up what I am “called” to? Am I being crazy? Maybe this is good crazy?” Through praying through coming here, seeking wisdom on where to go and when, and support raising. Through living life in Nashville and loving the community He brought...and then through having to say "See you later" to that community.  Through being here and all that has entailed. His call continues…
Through the last year, and more loudly the past month, He keeps calling me.  He's calling me to faith.  He keeps whispering to my soul, Come, follow me.

To trust what I cannot see, to leave behind my fears and questioning and simply take the next step in faith. Even when it’s hard, even when it may not make total sense or be fully funded or be perfectly planned out, or whatever makes sense in the world’s eyes. To take that step. To trust what I do know in the face of much unknown. Come, follow me. To walk forward with Him, to follow the path laid before me by my Jesus, even when all I see is the very next step. To keep my eyes on Him, not on the mountains ahead or the things I fear may be in the way or may come, but to follow my Jesus. To follow Him through the hard things and the beautiful things. To choose faith, over and over. To choose it for my life, but more than anything, to choose it day by day, moment by moment. I can’t get through my days and know more of Him and glorify Him when I choose myself, when I choose to focus on frustration or things I don’t understand. I can only get through and point to Him as I live when I choose to focus on Him and to trust His ways…to trust His leading, to trust His timing, to trust His goodness, to trust His promises He gives me in the Word. Come follow me. To choose faith. And to find delight as I choose faith, because with that choice comes freedom and indescribable joy. Because when I choose faith, I choose Jesus, and I leave myself behind. I am less, He is more. Come, follow me.

He has been calling me to this in so many ways recently. Through the circumstances around me which can sometimes be overwhelming. Through Jesus Calling devotional. Through the Word, specifically Hebrews 11. Holding onto this and sitting in it right now. Through the messages at the church I go to here. Through this amazing message from John Piper. Through the ways support continues to come in. Through the days He carries me. And more than anything, through this beautiful song my dear friend Sarah McCary wrote. It’s called Faith. She recorded it just for me to carry with me over here, along with a few other amazing songs. The first time I heard it was in her kitchen during one of our weekly breakfast dates. It made me cry, for it was so my heart at that time. In recent weeks, it has brought me such comfort and spoken such truth to my soul. It’s not available for all of you to hear (yet), but maybe the lyrics will speak to some hearts like they have to mine. I really could just have posted these lyrics and nothing else and you’d hear my heart as of recent…
Near-sighted; hoping for a glimpse of where I’m going
But I’ve decided that I will follow You without knowing
Cause I believe Your promises are true
That my inheritance is found in You
So I will leave behind all the places I have been
And I will follow You even when…

I can’t see the ending, just this step in front of me
That You are calling me to take
Your will for here and now is clear
To step out of my doubt and fear
To hear Your voice and to obey

Moving forward; finally okay that I can’t see too far ahead
Cause what I’m moving towards is not a place,
No, it’s knowing more of who You are instead
And seeing that Your promises are true,
Finding my inheritance in You
So I will leave behind all the idols I have held
And let the living God reveal Himself…

I can’t see the ending, just this step in front of me
That You are calling me to take
Your will for here and now is clear
To step out of my doubt and fear
To hear Your voice and to obey

And my faith will have its failures
But Your promises remain
So all these questions without answers fade away as You guide me with Your grace

I can’t see the ending, just this step in front of me
That You are calling me to take
Your will for here and now is clear
To step out of my doubt and fear
To hear Your voice and to obey
You are calling me to faith


He is calling me to come and follow. To choose faith. A faith like Abraham’s, to follow even without knowing where I am going. To follow His promises. And so, I choose to listen for His voice, and to choose to take the next step in front of me as it becomes clear.

My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. John 10:27

4 comments:

Alice said...

Wow. Beautifully written and beautiful song. Sweet friend, I love reading where your heart is. What an encouragement and a blessing. Isn't there such an incredible peace that comes from knowing that every minute of every day in every little thing, our Jesus is asking us to follow Him? I am in prayer constantly for you and so thankful for the mighty ways our sweet Father is working in your heart and through you in Jinja.

Love you!

Rachel said...

Hello dear friend!! Came right home to find your blog and am SO happy you are documenting this amazing time in your life!
Katie was an absolute rockstar on the trip home! I cried the second we saw all of the people who were waiting to welcome her...it was so wonderful and emotional and God was there through all of it.
Wish our paths would have crossed for a longer time but am so happy I got to meet you and know & see that you are an incredible auntie loving on all of those beautiful babies...makes me feel so good to know that YOU are there with all of them.
Hope you continue to have awesome life-enriching experiences and am praying for you- keep in touch, okay!? rachelscott11@gmail.com
Love you!
Rachel

Laura Jane said...

So encouraging, S Crane! I love you!

Lauren said...

Wow, your blog never ceases to amaze me! I wish I could email it to the whole world so they could see a true picture of Jesus. Wow!